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I actually remember when we were kids, my mother used to call us little faggots. At one time, it would have been said in the same way someone would go, You little brat or You little shit: You little faggot, what are you up to? But it was never meant in the way I suppose it would be meant in America. Faggot was the worst slur I knew for gay men when I was growing up, so saying it even now makes me feel a bit awkward, says Justin Bengry, Lecturer in Queer History at Goldsmiths, University of London, who is also co-founder of the history-of-sexuality website Notches

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And of course, you may just not want to risk giving offence

I can hear how concerned you are with your sons substance use and can appreciate your approach of looking at the situation from his perspective